Almost There

Had my first visit with the therapist today. It is amazing how many problems you can dredge up in an hour just trying to give someone an idea of where you are in life and why you are there.

Didn’t really get into much resolution or game plans today as it was a first visit.

Synopsis: I have a lot on my plate.

My life is like an overloaded buffet plate, I don’t really get to appreciate any one thing because it is all bleeding together and I only get a few bites of each thing. I end up bloated and miserable.

So what to remove? Good question.

I don’t know. How much longer can I keep juggling this plate before something important crashes to the floor? I don’t know.

I go back to work tomorrow. I go back to the therapist in a week. I am praying every day again.

Still no answers. Still no easy pause. Still no golden key. Still no jump into the water from the boat.

I want to know what it feels like to swim again. I have been in the boat for a long time. Maybe I have forgotten how to be a kid and just choose what makes me happy. Maybe I don’t feel like I deserve it.

Maybe my fear of failure is keeping me from succeeding.

I really want to jump in the water. Almost there…I think the boat is sinking anyway.

I would love to hear people’s stories about similar situations and what they did that helped. Please leave a comment!

From my heart,
Rachel

(C) Rachel Flinchum 8/1/2013

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3 thoughts on “Almost There

  1. There is no golden key. Therapy is hard work and you have to be give it a chance to work. You only get out of it what you put in but it’s absolutely worth it. My wife and I have been going for about 2 years and it absolutely has saved our marriage. Keep going 🙂

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