Self-fulfilling Expectations – I Create My Own Demise

Friday morning I was not supposed to take the boys to the in-laws before work. Once or twice a week, my husband does this so I don’t have to. Yea! I set my alarm for 6:25 instead of 5:40.

My alarm goes off and my husband is still in bed. He has overslept and can’t take the boys or he will be late to work.

I take the boys all the time, but because I wasn’t expecting to that morning, it threw my whole morning off. I was rushing and I let it set a bad tone to the start of my day.

All because of an expectation.

It made me think about how much my life revolves around expectations filled or expectations unfilled.

What if I woke up every day with no expectations on what would happen? What if I went into every situation like this?

I knew I would love my children no matter what they wanted to do in life, but I still had an expectation of a certain relationship with them. How much wasted time and grief and anger have I wasted because of this expectation? Tyler’s autism totally blindsided me.

I have always been a social outcast. This makes me nervous when meeting new people. I know I think differently and act differently, especially in The South, USA. Here everything is a complex social dance that I have never been able to learn or appreciate. How many relationships have I doomed because my own expectation of rejection? How much more awkward do I behave because I am nervous? How much harder is it for me to open up because I am expecting to be hurt?

I get migraines. Bad migraines. Lately they have been getting worse. Did you know one of the biggest triggers for making your migraine worse is the stress caused by one starting? When I feel the first signs of a migraine, I become stressed because I expect the worst. Therefore I achieve the worst.

How often have you expected to get sick and then you got sick?

How often has a change in plans ruined your day?

How often do situations become so much less tolerable because of an expectation unfulfilled?

If we could start each day with no expectations, we would be more flexible, less disappointed, much happier.

I, for one, would like to stop wasting my energy on what could have been and start living in the what is.

From my heart,
Rachel

(C) Rachel Flinchum 8/11/2013

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