Battle Dance

Life Vs Migraine: Round 436ish

Body sweats
Exhaustion
Throbbing, encompassing pain
Pressure
Skull too small
Light blinding
Noise roaring
Movement disorienting

I don’t have the time or energy for you, Migraine. I have boys to raise and care for. I have time I need to spend with them. I have smiles my husband deserves. I have projects that need work. I have dishes that need washing. I have exercising that needs doing.

My life is already a balancing act of getting the minimum possible done and doing things well. My time is already stretched too thin.

I have given you so much time and effort and have gotten nothing back from you.

You are a price I have paid since my first pregnancy and your interest rate keeps increasing.

When women give their body to their children, they go into it thinking weight gained, sleep lost, time surrendered.

What we really give is all that and more. My giving is my mind. My word filled, good memory, stress handling mind. All that gone. Replaced by migraines that steal my ability to read, my memory that loses whole chunks of time, my ability to confidently rise above a hectic situation with a smile and a wink.

Take my hands, Fate. Take my feet. Take my body and my mind. My heart I have already given to my family. You think you have beaten me by stealing my precious mind. You have not. I still have my sons and I can see the world through their eyes and their minds. My body wanes but theirs grow.

I give freely. Take it. I will not look back. This is better. I may never beat you, but you won’t beat me either. Dance with me, Migraine. I dare you.

From my heart,
Rachel

(C) Rachel Flinchum 8/31/2013

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8 thoughts on “Battle Dance

    • My doctor tested me about a year ago. I was negative for it. None of the tests have found anything. I keep being told I am in a ticking bomb situation because of everything in my life, but I just have to keep trucking. One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. =)

  1. Dear Rachel, I admire the way you allow yourself to fully experience the strain of migraine through the power of your words. For me (as the mother of a teenaged boy with complex disabilities), it’s more likely to be headaches, fuelled by a sense of fear and panic. And did I mention tiredness? My main solution is to return to regular meditating in an easy way. Thank you for ‘liking’ a post I wrote on it, just a short while ago: http://bit.ly/13TdehH Have you tried it? It’s not an instant cure, but it really does help.

    • I am awful at meditation. I really do try, but my mind races. I need more practice. I usually attempt it and end up more flustered than when I started because I sucked at it. =) I do not doubt the amazing power of meditation and I think it has done some amazing things for people. Thank you for the suggestion. It has given me motivation to try meditation again…and alliteration. =)

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