I knew this would happen when I entered the Sadness part of the Grief Cycle I am on.  I am getting nothing done.  My energy level went from “I can push a little more out of myself” to “I’ll do that tomorrow…maybe.”  And then to top it off, I got sick.  I was sick for awhile.  Then I got better, but the boys’ night time routine went from a 30 minute thing to a 2 hour thing because Tyler doesn’t get his paci anymore.

I realize that all these things are excuses…some better than others.  I could still get some things done.  I just haven’t been.

But the nice thing about life is that it just keeps coming every day.  So there is always time to get back on the wagon.

Back on the treadmill.

Back on top of grocery shopping.

Back on doing the dishes.

Back on preparing for the vendor fair I am going to be doing in ten days and for which I will only have 1 hour to set up, which is a ridiculously small amount of time with no room for errors.

I guess the anniversary of 9/11 is a good time for people to take stock and realize that it is time to get back in the game.  There is always time to decide to not take life for granted, but if you do it later rather than sooner, you will look back and wish you had picked the sooner option.

I guess that means I am running on the treadmill tonight.  At 10 PM.  So much about my ability to do something like that should be appreciated.  The ability to own a treadmill.  To run.  To not run in fear but for something that means a lot to me.

And I guess I can make sure the kitchen is cleaned up.  I really do feel better when the kitchen is clean.

So many amazing things in my life right now.  It is weird to be in this place that I am in.  I caught a glimpse of sunlight before entering a cave.  But the cave is beautiful as well and I need to get through it to get to the other side.  It has been placed in my path for a reason.  Life doesn’t stop at the different stages of life or the grief cycle.  My body and mind need this place right now…that is why I am here.

I do, however, really need to get back on the treadmill tonight.

From my heart,


(c) Rachel Flinchum 9/11/2013


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