Things very rarely go as I expect them to. I find this fact to be very upsetting. It can and will completely shoot my day from ok-ish straight down into the fiery depths of hell.
Even something small. Something miniscule. Something that should have gone exactly as I had planned it was so tiny. But it doesn’t. And I say, “What the $*#*?! How did that even go wrong?!”
It is like those people who are floating down a river in inner tubes. Some people just lay there and somehow manage to stay in the middle of the river. I am one of those people who is constantly working to stay in the middle of the river. As soon as I start to relax, I start drifting to the side (where the snakes and scary shadows are!). So I am constantly working, not relaxing, and not having a particularly good time.
Screw it. What comes will come. Maybe I just need to get out of the river the next time I hit the side. It’s a stupid river anyway.
And I am not going to be upset about that thing that went wrong today when it couldn’t possible have gotten messed up.
Ok, I was hoping that right after I said that it would be true. Deep breaths.
One dollar at the grocery store, one dog toy, one smile at a stranger. Those are the things I should be deciding upon, the things I should be acting on. I do not need to exert effort trying to fix something that I have no control over. Something done, even if it is not what I had planned to do, is better than nothing done.
Thanks for listening. It helped a lot to get that out.