The Devil Delights in Derailing the Details

Things very rarely go as I expect them to.  I find this fact to be very upsetting.  It can and will completely shoot my day from ok-ish straight down into the fiery depths of hell.

Even something small.  Something miniscule.  Something that should have gone exactly as I had planned it was so tiny.  But it doesn’t.  And I say, “What the $*#*?!  How did that even go wrong?!”

It is like those people who are floating down a river in inner tubes.  Some people just lay there and somehow manage to stay in the middle of the river.  I am one of those people who is constantly working to stay in the middle of the river.  As soon as I start to relax, I start drifting to the side (where the snakes and scary shadows are!).  So I am constantly working, not relaxing, and not having a particularly good time.

Screw it.  What comes will come.  Maybe I just need to get out of the river the next time I hit the side.  It’s a stupid river anyway.

And I am not going to be upset about that thing that went wrong today when it couldn’t possible have gotten messed up.


Ok, I was hoping that right after I said that it would be true.  Deep breaths.

One dollar at the grocery store, one dog toy, one smile at a stranger.  Those are the things I should be deciding upon, the things I should be acting on.  I do not need to exert effort trying to fix something that I have no control over.  Something done, even if it is not what I had planned to do, is better than nothing done.

Thanks for listening.  It helped a lot to get that out.


Just Because Its Legal to Kill a Cat Doesn’t Make It Right

I worked at a vet clinic for two weeks a long time ago. While I was there, a cat was brought in to be put asleep. Her kidneys kept failing and she was suffering.
I was the one to hold her when it happened. I remember the injection was bright pink. I remember what it felt like for her to slip away. To be alive one minute and then to be gone a few seconds later. I wanted to yell, “Wait! Take it back!”
Experiencing death from within the shelter of your arms means you carry a piece of that death with you forever.
So you can imagine why I am so grateful for places like the Humane Society. It is one thing to stop the suffering of an aging cat. That was hard. But to do so to a healthy animal because they have no one able or willing to give them a home…it shouldn’t have to happen like that.
Animal shelters with a no-kill policy will always have my moral support. This month I am going to take it a little further and hopefully will have a good turn-out for my donation drive.
Social change begins with one person taking one step.

The Price of a Dollar

Where I live, we have grocery stores called Kroger. I like going to Kroger much more than a superstore.
If you are like our family, money is tight. You stand in the checkout line and cringe as the items are rung up.
Our Kroger has barcode cards at the registers for Food Bank donations. Just grab it and have it scanned at checkout – can’t get any easier or more convenient to give the gift of food.
But I rarely did it until Tyler asked me about them one day. I explained them and he wanted one. He was like, duh?!
My husband would fight the urge to think it a scam, I would fight the urge to consider it a penalty shot on my total cost goal. There are a thousand reasons to check out without picking up one of those barcodes. It is only good for a dollar anyway, right?
The thing is, as much as it is more inspiring to hear about a millionaire funding a soup kitchen or you being able to pull up to a food pantry with a car full of name brand goodness, that only goes so far, only happens sporadically. A movement of an entire community committing to giving a dollar once a month is a real long-term change.
$12. That’s all. Some days it will be nothing and others like Mt. Everest. Change the world, change yourself.



Humane Society of Pulaski County Writes Legislation

One of the things I learned in 2013 is that everybody has a cause. Sometimes people are more involved in their cause than others, but everybody has something that tugs on their heartstrings.
In fact, it is very overwhelming the moment you open the door to the world of active support. But the biggest truth I learned was even if you collect 1 roll of paper towels that is 1 more than would have been donated without you.
It is also true that I would donate more often to things if it were more convenient. Hard to admit but true.
So I am turning myself into a drop box. Once a month I am going to pick a charity, make a Facebook event, and then sit in a parking lot to accept goods and donations. This month it is the Humane Society of Pulaski County here in Arkansas.
Their website is My sister-in-law did a donation drive for them and found out one of their biggest requests was paper towels. Broke my heart.
They are amazing. Not just because they have a no-kill philosophy, not just because they rescue cruelty cases, not just because they rehabilitate these animals, not just because they have volunteers Facebooking like crazy to give them a loving home, not just because they play with the animals and make them happy…all that is true. But the biggest and most amazing thing they do is write and promote legislation that will have long-lasting effects on the welfare of animals.
Legislation is a powerful tool. With legislation you expand your limited resources into the resources of a state or federal government. Animals in Arkansas have more protection under law because of the Humane Society of Pulaski County.
Donate to them this year and receive a small felt applique from me as a thank you. Just message me with your address and I will make it and mail it to you. Patterns and colors will vary. Also check out my Facebook event Humane Society Donation Drive on Jan 26th. Check out the Humane Society or shelter in your area. Donate to them and I will send you an applique as well.


From my heart,

To Real Parents (Super Moms Not Welcome)

I just want to send out some encouragement. All parents find themselves in this weird vortex of waking up, getting kids ready, going to work/taking care of kids, putting kids to bed, and then crashing. You find many decisions are no longer yours because you cant put a pause button on your responsibilities. Even if you are sick or hurt, you have to push through.

But in the midst of this vortex, you learn the value of new decisions. To yell or not to yell. To sit on the couch or to play on the floor. To decide your needs for a girls night out are justified. To focus on the kids being alive instead of letting their boo-boos put bars around your life.

You will wake up one day and realize you are doing this. Not just surviving or hating it, but doing it. The fatigue and aches won’t hold as much power over you. Instead of panic at the thought of screwing it all up you will realize your energy is better used towards more valuable endeavors than panic.

I have always loved my kids, but sometimes the realization that I couldn’t just take a step back from it all would make me want to run screaming.

Sometimes I will see a “mom” on a commercial just so happy to crawl around on the floor all day while their toddler plays with some fancy toy or I will hear other moms talking about how happy they are all the time raising their kids or how they never want a break and I just want to wrap my hands around their necks, shake them, and scream, “Liar! You dirty little liar! Before kids you gave me false expectations. After kids you gave me massive insecurity and self-worth issues. But I have your number now, little liar. Now you just annoy the &@$) out of me!”

Before I had kids, I would have judged. I would have thought there was something broken in a parent if they struggled or didn’t treat their children perfectly fairly and equally or went to work when their kid was sick. I was a idiot. And I am so sorry!

So back around to the beginning. Screw the super moms. Screw the expectations.

You are doing awesome. One day your new awesome will exceed your current awesome. Until then, just get up every morning and look for the small decisions that have big impact. Sometimes just get up in the morning. Sometimes you yell and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you sit on the couch and sometimes you play on the floor. You are doing awesome.

From my heart,


Getting my Bearings

This year we are hosting the Thanksgiving dinner at our house for family and friends.
To set the stage, I am NOT the hostess type. Or the cook a big dinner type.
It seems strange to me that this is where I am. Cooking and hosting Thanksgiving dinner.
To be perfectly honest, the past couple of months I have not even been capable of anything but surviving the current day. Sometimes it has felt like the days stretched endlessly before me – all consisting of getting through the day.
But now I am writing my second blog in less than a week. I had a day to myself yesterday and painted. I laughed at Ash’s misbehavior last night instead of crying over it. My husband and I are hosting people at our house for Thanksgiving.
New chapter in my life?
I hope so.


From my heart,

Rachel Flinchum 11/24/2013